It’s raining and pouring in London and I am currently wishing I was somewhere else with lots of sun and a piña colada.  On Sunday in between cat nap one and two curing my hangover I started to wonder why is it so hard for you to leave a relationship where you know the other person isn’t all that great for you??!!!! Why why why??

Sometimes we start of in a seemingly great relationship but then these little red flags start cropping up but we ignore them over and over again. It gets to the point where there are so many red flags that everyone including you knows you should leave the joker but it never happens or if it does it takes about a year, sometimes even more, since your first realisation that it isn’t working for you to make a move.

Is it not frustrating to think that all that precious time is been wasted on someone who is not amazeballs for you and who you are not amazingly great for? Do we just stick with jokers because it is far easier than starting to date again?

For me dating is like snake and ladders adult style, you roll a dice and you may meet someone or worst still it may take you forever 1+ years to meet someone. When you do finally meet that someone it may go well and you climb a few ladders but oh no you roll the dice and you discover this person is a mean pathological liar(extreme I know but it does happen) so you fall down the ladder into your bathroom fall sobbing of straight back into the bar with your friends to roll the dice again and hope the ladder doesn’t have any broken steps this time. So if that is dating and starting again it is no wonder that if you are in a relationship that is not right it is sometimes incredibly hard to leave, the game of snakes and ladders ahead isn’t exactly inspiring.

In addition there are all these bizarre saying which I can reel of supporting the fact you should stay with the joker.  Someone you know will use one of the below to reaffirm your decision to stick and not make a move.

1. ”The grass isn’t greener on the other side’.  Mmmm really. What if the grass you are standing on is withered and dry and would make the desert look green? Is it not better to move on, what’s the chance of ending up another patch of dry grass. You would have to be pretty damn unlucky out of all the billions of people in the world to end up on a really really dry piece of grass again. Everyone’s bit of grass isn’t perfectly green, if we all had really green bits of grass there wouldn’t be a need for relationship counsellors, so chances are trying your lucky is a good idea.

2. ” Better the devil you know’.  Seriously if you are with a devil it’s time to go!!! Who deals with the devil? If the guy/girl happens to be comparable with a devil then there is no point waiting another second of life with the devil’s best friend.

Joking aside I think in all honesty the thing that stops girls and perhaps guys from leaving a person who isn’t particular great is FEAR of the unknown. Fear of being stuck on your own can sometimes be so overwhelming that you never make the move and you end up staying with the joker.

For me the honest truth is I love myself too much to stick with a joker or get back with a joker (to be discussed on another rainy day).  Every time I have been dealt a joker it has been a hard call but then I remember there is lots of green grass out there to play on and eventually I have had to pack my huge suitcase and dance my merry dance, roll my dice and climb the ladder. Still climbing the ladder and no broken steps yet……..

Ps let me know what you think. Stick with the joker or swap your card and hopefully land a King (or Queen)

xoxo